Down the Rabbit Hole

Remember our first spelunking experience at Cave Steam Scenic Reserve? Yes, I know what you were probably thinking… “You foos are out of your brokelemon minds”. Well after that trip, Yen and I learned that stupidity is the best way to get your 15 seconds of fame in your own real life horror movie. So for our next cave experience, we thought we’d do it a little safer than the first time. What better way to do that than to join even more crazy white people and descend absurdly deep into the Earth? The best thing this time around is that they are all professionals, and, that they will do their best to keep us alive.

Midway through our Christmas vacation road trip, we stopped at The Legendary Black Water Rafting Co., and demanded they take us on their Black Abyss Tour into the Waitomo Caves. May I say right now that this trip was…wait for it…LEGEN…DARY!!! Probably because once we were fully geared up, we all look like caving superheroes, or perhaps because it’s a lot more fun when you know you have a 95 percent survival probability.

Before our five hour expedition, we had a quick safety run, and soon after we Joseph Gordon-Levitt down a 35 meter hole into Mother Earth’s glow worm cathedral. If you’re starting to sweat, you better clench your butt cheeks because it only gets better from here. Once our feet touched the ground, we were doing covert type flying foxes in complete darkness, jumping off cliffs into tubes where *ahem* everyone but me landed in their tube. What can I say, I have a beautiful man booty. I got it from my Mama.

Anyways, I was the first one to get a taste of how cold the water was, and instantly grateful that we were wearing wet suits. After some ridiculous splashing in the water, I finally made it onto my tube and we continued the tour. The rest of the time was spent romantically tubing under a surreal star-like glow worm display, drinking hot Tang, sliding down water slides, pushing Yen into pools of water, climbing up waterfalls, and…(brain overload). Our tour guides, Tom, Antz and Inga made this trip really fun. I just want to give a shout out to them… “THANK YOU FOR NOT LETTING US DIE!” And also for MAKING THIS CAVE TRIP SO ENJOYABLE! They took photos for us, cracked jokes, and were just so…how do I say it? Down to Earth. They undoubtedly made this experience the fun-filled adrenaline rush it was, and to them, I tip my caving helmet.

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